Antiques & The Arts

Mom Says She Lives In Fear Of 25-Year-Old Son Who Is ‘Like A Ticking Time Bomb’

Growing up, Ryan was a great kid. Boy, things really changed with him. What? Don’t yell at me like that. My son, Ryan, is out of control. I feel like I live in fear. He’s like a ticking time bomb; we don’t know when it’s gonna set him off. Years ago, I stood up to Ryan, but that’s not worked anymore. Okay! Get the (beep) out of here! He becomes enraged, he throws fits just like a big baby. (beep) you too. So one occasion, Ryan got mad and he made a hole in this door. Then on another occasion, he broke the handle right here and then he also made a hole by punching the door. I enable my son because I don’t know what else to do at this point. I give Ryan a free place to stay, I give him money to buy marijuana, everyone tries to keep him happy so we all pitch in for his marijuana. I can’t just lock him out of the house. I’m a mother, I love him. I even wrote into Dr. Phil’s show four years ago, but I backed out because I was afraid. But now I’m at the point where I just can’t take it anymore. I just wanna pack up everything and leave this house, leave Ryan behind. Okay they say he’s not gonna get better if you keep enabling him. Are you enabling him? I don’t think I am. Here’s my definition of enable; and that is to make something possible, practical or easy for someone to do or be. And it often perpetuates the problem. Okay. So do you make it possible, practical, or easy for him to get the drugs and continue the habit? I do because I think it’s easier to not hear him. Easier for you. No, for everyone involved because, in a way, I’m trying to protect them also. I kinda made a list of the things that I’m hearing that sound like you’re enabling him. Let me see what you think about those things. You allowed him to drop out of high school. You chased after him and drove home after he raged at the store. You drove to husband’s work to get him money. He wanted money, you drove to your husband’s work to get him the money to buy the drugs with. ‘Cause he was making me, yeah. You faked a heart attack to calm him down. Yes. Did it?
Nope. You support him; you pay his rent, groceries, utilities. You cook his favorite meals. You serve him food before anybody else. Oh yes. You buy marijuana for him. You pay to fix the damage that he’s done. He tears it up, you pay to fix it. Yes. Okay, no consequences for raging, destroying property, there’s no consequences. I’m afraid not, no. That sounds pretty bad. ‘Cause it is. (applause)

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