Antiques & The Arts

The Kapil Sharma Show Season 2 – Ep 63 – Full Episode – 4th August, 2019

Attention.. In this colony, the famous
member of Lucknow’s nobility Ustad Medium Begum Ali Khan
has started a sale of antiques. You will find everything here including Porus’s pajamas
and Anarkali’s clothes. Yes! Yes! What’s going on? Why are you making noise
so early in the morning? Haven’t they fed you
biscuits since morning? Listen..
– Why should I? Why should I listen to you? I listen to my wife at home. I even listen to the buffalo
in the stable. And now you want me
to listen to you! Brother-in-law! Now that you are listening
to everyone listen to your
sister-in-law as well. Please get me Anarkali’s
dress for my college’s drama. Anarkali’s dress..
– Bhuri.. With Anarkali’s dress,
you will be getting a branded Salim as well. And I am going to put Salim
against the wall as well. And what have you
done to yourself? Are you trying to look like
a horse in an Indian wedding? Oh, Mr. Bachcha,
those days are long gone. Now it’s time for me
to be the bridegroom. Because I have landed a job
at the nobleman’s place. Oh! What do you do there?
Do you rub soap on his back? Or do you wash his shorts?
What do you do? Hey.. Don’t talk about these things
in front of my future wife. Hey..
– Yes, miss.. I would rather die
than be your wife. No.. You shouldn’t eat
at his restaurant. And you..
– Yes.. Take your things
and get out of here. Otherwise, you
will be thrown out along with the nobleman.
Do you understand? Oh, God! Who is it that wants to throw me out?
– There he is. ‘It has been said..’ Wow!
– ‘…that you don’t sleep’ ‘at night without me.’
– Great.. I’ll smack you. ‘You don’t sleep
at night without me’ ‘and you’re like someone
stranded in a football ground.’ Wow.. Excellent! He is our master. Allow us to play
a match on this ground. – Wow. Excuse me. He is my brother-in-law. That’s right. Your Majesty,
you are fond of her! You could have
chewed cardamom. It would have
changed your taste buds. Oh! Lend me your ears. You have arrived
in my palace. Wow.. You have arrived
in my palace. I become your blanket
and you become my pillow. Look, show some respect. This pillow may
cause problem to you. You can destroy me
if you want. Chandu..
– Yes? Ask him to leave. Bachcha, don’t you know
about Nawab’s family? What’s so special
about his family? Even she doesn’t know it. How will she know?
My family is secret. What do you mean
by the secret family? Your Majesty, if there
can be secret charity then why can’t there
be a secret family? Brother-in-law, they have
many antique things. Buy me one authentic lehenga
of some queen. That’s right.
You buy a lehenga and I will wear
a matching ‘Sherwani’. Oh! A ‘Sherwani’ looks good
on a daredevil. It will not suit you. In that case, you must have
dressed up as a bull at your wedding. Oh, God! Both of you are
getting married? Yes. – We will organise
the musical night. Nobody is getting married here. I wanted the lehenga
for my play. Brother-in-law,
are you buying one or not? Tell me right now.
Yes or no? Why are you getting angry?
Hold on. Relax. I was making sure
if he is a liar or not. What are you saying,
Your Majesty? No one has ever touched me. You are misunderstanding me. But you can touch me. Have you come to sell
the antiques or for the musical night? I will slap you. And it’s not antique. Is this mug and the bucket
antique? Oh, God!
This is Aurangzeb’s helmet. Aurangzeb’s helmet? He was about to get
Aurangzeb’s tank. But it did not
fit in his pocket. You enjoyed
delivering this line. Never repeat this.
Before you lose it. You have danced so well. I am so happy that I’ll gift you
my grandpa’s guitar. Hold on. Who plays a guitar
in the war? He played so badly
that it lead to the war. He had gone
to attend a wedding. And the battle was
so terrifying.. My God! Some people lost
their instruments. Four people were
unable to sit. Oh, God! And those who came
with the wedding procession are so sore that they
still can’t sit. Bhuri, shall I play
the guitar to impress you? Can I borrow your sword?
I have to behead somebody. No, I cannot give you
the sword. My grandpa used
to befriend his enemies with the help
of this sword. What..
What are you saying? Who takes a sword
for joining hands? One uses a sword
when going to war. My grandpa used to go
wearing salwar. That salwar. This is his lucky salwar. He won whenever he wore it. Collect these things
and leave. Just go from here.
Come on. I want you to come along. I will give you
the ownership of my property. No. No.
– Take the ownership of Lucknow.
– Brother-in-law.. Please take the area
where you get ‘Tunde Kabab’. Hey! You are sacrificing me
for two ‘Seekh Kababs’. Wonderful. Wow! I feel like getting
your nose pierced. You are fond
of nose piercing, right? I’ll be back. Then I will get your nose,
ears, and eyes pierced. I’ll be back.
– Promise? – Move away! My brother-in-law’s temperament
is always like that.. I’m enacting the role
of Anarkali in college’s play so can you show me
some costumes for the role? Who’s stopping you?
– Dresses in pink only! Should I show you
Amitabh Bachchan’s film ‘Pink’ instead? Should I become ‘Dabangg’s’
Salman Khan instead! Should I show you Anup Soni’s
‘Crime Patrol’ instead? There’s a conspiracy
to throw you both out! Amazing.
– Amazing, mister.. Listen to me and try this dress on. This will suit you a lot. Fine..
Here is your money. I’ll just check the fitting. What a miser!
She just handed me Rs. 250. Hello? Yes, Mukesh? Am I audible? Can you recharge my phone? When it’s about
recharging my phone all of a sudden I become
inaudible, isn’t it? Bye! I don’t know what
he thinks of himself! Hey, Chandu. How are you? What garbage are you
selling today? I was selling antiques before
but now the garbage has arrived as well!
How are you? How dare you call me garbage when you look like a bundle
of wasted newspapers yourself! Move aside, stupid! Hi.. How are you?
– Exactly like this! From which hospital have you
got this wise man! You look like a person having
a disease which is often cured in the personal space
of a physician! Pay attention.. Even you are Anarkali,
disguised as a trader! People who have got
similar qualities should not criticise
others for the same! Amazing.. Don’t talk too much! I can slit your throat
right away! If you are so fond of cutting why don’t you cut the hair
strand on my back? It doesn’t go well
with my benign beauty. Don’t fool around with me.
I’m not in a good mood. Sapna, antique products
are on sale and you don’t similar
auctions everyday. There’s a huge discount. Come..
– Really? – Yes, have a look. No, not this.
How much for this mop? You stupid woman! This is not a mop
but my grandpa’s apparel. Once my grandpa was surrounded
by some goons and to get away he had
to open his entire attire. The goons ultimately
had to run away! Grandpa ran and reached
a palace. Thank God.
He reached safety, right? No, not exactly.
It was quite foggy that day and he had reached
the goon’s hideout instead! When the fog cleared he was captured. Oh, my God.
What does he do nowadays? Exactly the same thing
which you do here! Traitor! Traitor! Whose dress is this? You look as beautiful as a well decorated
auto rickshaw! But from my viewpoint you look exactly like Anarkali. From your viewpoint you are
a comedian, aren’t you? Very well said! Thanks, Sapna.
Give me my money back. We have some rules!
– What are they? We don’t take back
goods that are once sold. Wow! Enough.. This Nawab has worried
us more than enough now. I’m glad that you are here.
I was so desperate to see you. I have written a few lines
in our moments of separation. Yet again? – ‘Our life resembles
that of pants nowadays..’ ‘Our life resembles that
of pants nowadays..’ – It has! ‘There’s no peace in our lives’ ‘like there’s no chain
in my pants.’ Amazing! You were restless to see me,
weren’t you? I’ll provide you with peace now. Wow.. How did you know that
I like stupid things? You look really smart
in this attire. Relax a bit with your posture
or else you’ll tire yourself. Hey! He’s not useless. He’s the real Nawab of Lucknow. Keep your mouth shut! You too keep your mouth shut or else I’ll hurl swears at you.
– What? What kind of swear? It was such a bad abuse.
Oh, Lord! Oh, Lord!
What was that? If you have a horse’s abuse we have this buffalo’s abuse. Brother-in-law!
This is a family show. You gave him buffalo’s abuse
in a family show? I’ll go and inform sister.
– Hey! Look at her. We just spoke
about buffalo and she actually went to one.
That’s such an injustice. You won’t suffer
any kind of injustice as long as I’m here. – I know.
– Go and drop this baby panda to the jungle. – Hey, you..
– His mom might be looking him. Anyway, I have experienced
a lot of entertainment in the jungle. – Oh..
– But let’s experience some wresting over here, today. Just because I’ve dressed up
like a beautiful woman you think you’re
some Bollywood hero? You’re wearing this cheap
cotton salwar and calling yourself a Nawab.
Ridiculous! How dare you!
This is not a cotton salwar but it’s a chicken salwar. Oh, Lord! The rest of the Nawabs
are wearing a chicken salwar. Order a mutton salwar for me. That’s right. Also make
a spinach kurta for him. Make an omelette belt for him. Make the shoes of pizza.
Then, go and stand in some cave. Everyone will eat some part.
He’s acting smart over here. Mutton salwar.
– I dedicate cheese to you. Here you go. I’m telling you all,
he’s a cheat. Nawab is someone like me. I have fought several wars. Have you ever fought any war?
– Don’t even ask me. I was in the battlefield once. Our enemies were walking
at such great speed. I was unable to untie my pants.
– What! Untie the pants? How is your enemy connected
to your pants? My enemy was coming
from within. The enemies still blow
the horn before coming. The enemy that comes
from within doesn’t blow horns. Once he comes, he just..
Oh, Lord! Hey, the war is where you use the swords. So, you think I untied my pants
without the sword? Did you listen to his nonsense?
– I did. Nawab is someone like me.
Come to my palace sometime. It’s such a huge palace that you will take an entire day
to go from one corner to the other.
– I don’t believe it. That’s nothing great.
My king’s palace is so huge he leaves his bedroom
in the morning and he reaches the bathroom
only at night. He’s absolutely right. Because I go to jungle
instead of bathroom. Ridiculous! I don’t get the pressure
at home, sir. Once I hear a tiger’s roar
in the jungle I get the pressure easily. Tell me if you know
how to use a sword? Of course, I do. Where’s my sword?
– Sir.. – Give it to me. The sword. Shall I?
– Of course. – Go for it.. Who uses a sword that way? I can shoot arrows,
use bludgeon and everything. Really?
– Yes. Then show me how you use
a bludgeon. Chandu, come here. Look, I made the donkey move. Good one. Good one. Since I’m here,
people are earning well. Oh.. The day I give up, you’ll
end up as a daily labourer. Oh.. Do you have a six by six photo
in your house? No. Why?
– Hang one. I’ll be putting a garland across it very soon,
you fool! He’s talking nonsense. And you, minister
looking like pawn take your Nawab and just leave.
It’s high time. Why are you saying so? Nothing has
actually happened yet. I won’t leave you.
– Hey.. If you feel he’s the real Nawab,
come to the battlefield. Let’s have a fight.
– Let’s have it. What are you doing?
– The sword. Go for it..
– Okay, fine. Let’s have a fight.
– You, cruel man! If you have guts,
let’s have a music duel. Fine, let’s have a music duel. Just a minute! Nawab, even I’m with you.
– Come. Give me a minute. In pin safety pin,
in pin out. I don’t want to be out.
I want to be in. I’m in his team. Even I’m on your side, Nawab. So, here it goes.
– Wow.. Wow..
– Go on. Nawab, this is for you. Champagne is called beer.
– Wow.. Wine is called alcohol. Champagne is called beer. And wine is called alcohol. He’s so chubby,
yet he claims to be a Nawab. If my blood sugar level wasn’t
low and my blood pressure was not high..
– Wow! If my blood sugar
level wasn’t low and my blood
pressure wasn’t high I would have insulted you if
you weren’t my brother-in-law. Here’s a poem.. Go on, say it.. I will cut a cake
and a pizza. Really? I will cut a cake
and a pizza. I will kill my brother-in-law
if you become his brother-in-law! If you get killed,
I will never prosper. If you get killed,
I will never prosper. Usually, the cake is cut
when the candles are blown. Wow! I will burn your candle
from two ends. I will burn your candle
from two ends. I will extinguish
your flickering lamp by stomping on it!
– Wow! Wow.. Those were real powerful lines! Yes, man..
– It was a great comeback! Yes, man! Comeback!
I’ll show you! I will also recite a poem.
– Go ahead. What is it?
– I have seen many red roses. Wow.. I have seen many yellow roses. Yes, we have..
– Wow.. I have seen many fat women
but for the first time I am seeing a pregnant Nawab. Here’s a poem.. Turn towards that side
and say it. Here’s a poem.. ‘Every turban clad person
is not a groom.’ Wow.. ‘Every turban clad person
is not a groom.’ ‘There’s no need
for celebrations’ ‘I am just suffering
from acidity.’ Another poem,
especially for Sapna. Go on..
– Go on.. ‘She cannot express
what she’s going through.’ ‘She cannot express
what she’s going through.’ ‘She is not allowed
in the gents toilet’ ‘and she cannot
go to the ladies toilet.’ Hey!
You’re just jealous. You have crossed a line. Nawab..
– Yes? She’s not going
to mend her ways. I think we should attack them. We are not afraid!
We shall fight back! Stop fighting! Let us go in a dignified manner,
at least this time. Before a fight breaks out let’s get away. Wait, where are you going? Stop! Stop.. Nawab! Stop! Hey! So friends,
the guest for today is a well-known
personality in the music world. He has made India
proud with his talent. Please welcome Padma Shri, Padma
Bhushan and Padma Vibhushan Sarod player, the one and only,
Ustad Amjad Ali Khan. Along with
him are his very talented sons, Amaan and Ayaan. Applause for Ustad Amjad
Ali Khan, Amaan and Ayaan. Sir, thank you very much. Mr. Khan, we welcome
you to our show. Please take your seat. First of all, thank you
so much for coming to our show. I often ask people
if they had ever thought they will get a chance
to come on my show. But to tell you the truth,
I never thought that I would get to meet you
and that too on my show. Thank you so
much for coming. I want to thank you because
you are making people laugh. Thank you. And Ms. Archana is
also making people laugh. This is a very good medicine
that everyone is happy they are showering
their blessings on you. This should continue.
– With your blessings, we will. Whenever we think of Sarod,
everyone thinks of you. If we were to name 10 prominent
people associated with Sarod Mr. Khan’s name
will be in all the 10 places. No..
– How did you start? It’s my good fortune that I was
born in a family of musicians. Okay. – My father and my guru,
Ustad Hafiz Ali Khan was from Gwalior. So in that environment,
since the age of 12 I travelled to different
parts of our country and people encouraged
me and blessed me. So, it was
the people of India who made me
Ustad Amjad Ali Khan. Well said. So it is also true that
your family invented the Sarod. Yes.. Our forefathers
had come from Afghanistan. Okay, sir. Bangash is our family name.
– Okay. So, Amaan Ali Khan Bangash
and Ayaan Ali Khan Bangash. They used to play Rabab. Okay. – It was
Guru Nanak’s favourite. – Yes. Bala and Mardana accompanied
him.. – Yes. Rabab is similar to Sarod. Okay, sir.
– Sarod is a Persian word. Okay. – It is called Sarood,
which means a song. My guru was a selfless person.
– Okay. It is a long story.
When he got Padma Bhushan in 1960.. Okay. Wow. – Mr. Modi said that
he had read about him while he was
preparing for a lecture about such a great singer.. When he met the president,
what did he ask for? It’s a long story. The president
asked how he can serve. He asked the president
to save Raga Darbari. People are spoiling
its originality. People keep improvising it. Yes. Because in our country every man is a master
and every man is learned. Yes, indeed. Yes. Indeed. I am really happy
that you have a sweet voice. Thank you, sir.
I have heard masters singing. So I just try
to sing like them. I would love
to hear you sing. Sir. I am a master to those
who know nothing of music. And when it comes to you.. I will sing.. Something that you sing for
yourself and for people. – Yes. There is a folk song
‘Heer’ in our Punjab. Yes. Sir, I would like to ask
you something. We’ve heard of the classical
Darbari style. Why is it always sung
in the evening? As the name suggests,
it was sung in halls of Akbar by great Tansen. The emperor must be
one who rose late. – Yes.. Ayaan and Amaan. Which one is older? Amaan is older. So you got married first?
– Yes. You completed
your training. I am.. I needed inspiration. Yes.
– My wife’s name is Nima and through her I found
Ni and Ma, the two notes. Wow!
– Wow! Amazing! I’ve seen a lot of artists who touch their ear
when they speak of their teacher and Ms. Archana
asked this.. Why do people touch
their ears when they speak the name of their teacher? For being a bad student? Since the teacher pulls
your ears a lot so.. – Oh! It is to make sure that
we make no mistake. That is the concept. Out of reverence.
– Out of reverence. When Ayaan spoke of Nima,
you touched your ear. I did.. She must have pulled
his ear. Ayaan, Amaan, you always
wanted to play? When father went on tours he had hired a Tabla player
to come everyday for two hours in the evening. And we were about seven
years old. He was there to teach us.
– Okay. So we put some powder
on his head and we added some salt
to his water to make him stop coming
to our house. Did you get scolded? Dad never scolds. Is that so?
– Our mom scolds us a lot. Yes. – We do get beaten up
even now. Sir, where did you meet
your wife for the first time? I am curious to know. A festival in Calcutta
where famous artists were there along with Amir Khan
and Bilayat Khan.. She had a dance.
She came from Assam. Yes. After seeing her performance I tried to meet her family. God heard my prayers and I got married to her had
a family with her. – Amazing! Father dedicated a song
to her. A few years ago. Raga Subbu Laxmi. Yes. – Mom always
laughed about it saying it should have
a gentle name. A great thing. Sir has invented
many Ragas and in 1984 he dedicated
a Raga to our former
PM Ms. Indira Gandhi. Priyadarshini.
Priyadarshini. Priyadarshini. After that you dedicated
a Raga to Jawaharlal Nehru. I did many. On the 125th anniversary
of Mahatma Gandhi in Paris and Narasimha Rao
was the PM. I named it Bapu Kaus. Amazing! I made this for Mahatma Gandhi. I got the Gandhi medal
from UNESCO. Last year, Atal Bihari Vajpayee
from Gwalior.. Yes.. I was also born in Gwalior.
– Okay. I dedicated a Raga to him.
– Okay. I played ‘Atal Ranjini’
in Delhi. – Okay. Mr. Khan,
Ms. Archana told me something. She told me you’re
very handsome. You’re like Shahrukh Khan
of the music industry. Wow!
– Wow! She said your wife
sends your sons with you to keep an eye on you. He had taken me to Russia
along with him when I was 10 years old. So, mom asked him
how he’s doing. He complained that he had
to look after a 10-year-old boy. I have written a book
on twelve musicians. – Okay. Twelve musicians who
have passed away recently. Pandit Ravi Shankar,
Bilayat Khan, Bismillah Khan.. Bhimsen Joshi..
– Yes.. I have also written
about Amir Khan. – Okay.. Once upon a time, Delhi’s first
lieutenant governor, AN Jha.. Yes.. – There was an all India
governors dinner at his house. Okay. – Everyone was heading
towards the governor’s house in the Rajbhavan.
On the way, I was told that the governors of India
are not very versed in music. He asked me to not play
my instrument for too long and he said will not sing
for long as well. So, I was done within
half an hour. When Mr. Khan started singing we started praising him.. And he lost track of time. He was singing continuously
and he was enjoying it. When he started singing
another song the governor signaled to me asking when he’ll stop. I responded by saying,
I do not know and whoever wanted to leave,
they were free to go because it was an
official dinner. I asked them to go. The governor was sitting alone. And Mr. Khan started singing
the third song. – Okay. The governor asked me
what he should do and I asked him
to leave as well. Mr. Khan was still singing
after the governor had left. A couple of people
were cheering him. He went on singing. Suddenly, he noticed
that I was sitting next to him. You need five minutes
for warming up.. – Yes. Sometimes, we need a lot of time
for tuning in. When our musician went to
America for the first time he spent half an hour
on tuning. When he finished tuning,
people applauded for him. Wow! Mr. Khan is so calm
and composed. – Yes. I think he eats two spoons of disciple for breakfast. Hey, guys! Hey! Hey!
Hi! Come.. Hey, guys! This is amazing.
I am very happy. A great classical musician.
He has been awarded Padma Shri, Padma Bhushan,
Padma Vibhushan.. He has made our country proud
in the entire world. Wow! Ustad Amjad Ali Khan
is here, accompanied by his sons Ayaan Ali and Amaan Ali. I am very fortunate
to meet you! I feel very spicy as well,
due to the excitement. I often speak gibberish. Kapil Sharma, do you see?
It’s so amazing, right? Such great personalities
are here. When I see them
and look forward it’s like Archana Puran Singh
is sitting in front of me. She is Archana Puran Singh. Are you telling
that to me now? Ms. Archana,
I’ll tell you the truth. A while ago,
when we were backstage he asked me to address you
as Goga Kapoor when I am on the stage. I refused to do that.
– Yes.. No way!
– No.. Never..
– Really? She looks like Raja Murad.
Why would I address her as Goga Kapoor? I refused to do so. Stop lying.
When did I say that? Am I lying? All right, Ms. Archana.
Sir.. Today, I shall reveal the truth
about this man. – Go ahead. What? – This man who looks
so innocent. – He’s not.. He’s not innocent.
– I agree. I will tell you the truth. When he learns about the guests
who’re going to come over he shuts the door
of his room and he comes up with questions
for six hours. He prepares himself
with questions that he’s going to ask
the guests. Obviously, I work hard
for my show. You don’t work hard. You are pressurised
by Sony and SAB. Sony.. You have been pressurised
by Sony and SAB and others have excelled but you are still the same. What will you do
with only a few millions? Mr. Khan, you play Sarod. He’s the drum of this show. Sir, I just told you. You must be thinking
he thought of this on spot. That’s not true. He spends six hours.. Very nice, Bachcha.
Very nice. ‘Bachcha Yadav will come..’ ‘Drum..’ You are right. Drum!
How can you call me a drum? Turn around. I don’t show
my back to my enemies. Wow! Mr. Khan, they are my friends so they say such things. What friends? I am from UP
and he is from Punjab. What friendship? His friends
are at his back, over there. Band from Punjab nepotism..
Play it. Punjab nepotism. Mr. Amjad, I will tell you
the truth. This person playing
the guitar, Dinesh.. He is Kapil Sharma’s friend. And the rest
are Dinesh’s friends. This is what happens
at their place. Yes.
– They make a chain. A chain.
– One person calls two. Two call four..
Then they call for eight. Sir, we have more
Punjabis in this show than there are in Canada. What problem
do you have with that? I’ll tell you.
I’ll tell you. They can only play
in a group. If you tell them
to play one instrument alone then you will get to know. But, sir,
I will tell you the truth. The one playing
the saxophone.. He doesn’t come here
in every show. He comes here
when we have a musical episode. So that they can hide
their flaws with his help. Otherwise, they will
be exposed. He is angry.
So he is talking rubbish. Kapil Sharma, be honest. Tell everybody
the truth. Tell you what? It was three weeks ago
that Dinesh go to know what D minor is. Oh, my God! Today you are
after my friends. Sir, I’ll tell you more. When Dinesh held
the guitar for the first time he said,
‘These are open wires.’ He won’t touch them.
He feared a shock. He was asking
for rubber slippers only then he will
touch them. This is how
knowledgeable he is. The one who is playing
the keyboard.. When he saw
the keyboard for the first time he was wondering
what machine it is. ‘How will I weave
the sweater?’ It looked like a sweater
weaving machine to him. Sweater weaving machine! And the one sitting
next to him.. When he saw the saxophone
for the first time he asked him.. ‘Sir, your instrument
is not proper.’ ‘Give it to me.
I will fix it.’ Sir, you understand
how knowledgeable they are. Bachcha, what do you want?
Why are you so angry? Why do they
irritate me so much? They must play
the music properly. They must do
their work properly. So that we don’t
have to work so hard. Wow! You don’t work hard. You
only make a short appearance. Sir, I do that
because my father had told me that I should not stay
in a place for long. It reduces one’s dignity. Ms. Archana, I don’t stay
for long even at home. I see. Then how did you manage
to have 11 kids? I have 11 kids
because I went for short time. If I had spent more time then all the audience
would have a ponytail. Sir, he will speak
for a few more minutes. Then he will leave. He knows nothing
about music. He will leave. I don’t know
anything about music? No one knows
as much as I know about music. Sir, I will tell
you a story. Okay. In village Tangpura,
there lived a woman, Sarod. Wow! In village Tangpura,
there lived a woman, Sarod. In village Tangpura,
there lived a woman, Sarod. She had three children.
Guitar and two small Tablas. So sweet. Guitar left for London
to earn money. He changed there.
– Oh! His style
became electronic. Something like this. Sir, finally, when mouth organ
donated his organ.. Oh, wow! Then Bansuri was saved. But Sarod was worried why
her son, Guitar, didn’t return. Sarod took saxophone.. Wow!
Lovely. And called up Guitar. She asked him
why he did not come. Do you know
what Guitar said? He says,
‘Mom, I have a bungalow’ ‘a car, bank balance..
What do you have?’ Sarod got angry
and she said.. I have Ustad Amjad Ali Khan. Amazing! Bachcha! We have Amaan and Ayaan. And while we have them Sarod will be known
far and wide. It shall always be so! Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Now it is time that.. Mr. Khan is here. Hello, sir.
Greetings. How are you? I am great. Sir, you have made quite
a name for India when it comes to music. Seeing that,
I am very happy. I.. I am speechless, startled. And I bow to you. I have said it!
There it is! Do you know? I was under a lot of pressure
over this! That Mr. Khan is here,
so I must speak well. You danced so well. Sir it was
Mr. Govinda’s dance.. Sir, I am telling you. I am all about music.
– Absolutely. You are a master. I am a great fan. I learned from Ms. Archana. She does not play
an instrument. She knows it all. Do you not know?
– No. She can use a bat
as an instrument. That is not all. Yesterday she caught
a flying vulture and played it
like a trumpet. I am serious. You, spawn
of an earthquake! What is this nonsense? You need to quit it. Why do you keep
playing that instrument? It bothers us a lot! You are so hoarse
and sound like an engine! Music sessions are held
in the morning. Only then one gets
a nice voice. Look at that!
Sweet voice and all! Sir, can this boulder
sing like a cuckoo? How does a cuckoo sing? And she starts cursing
when she sees him! She went on her first date the guy mistook her for a man. She is in shock,
that is all. – Yes. When a girl calls him
an uncle on the first date he gets all cranky! We do not date,
we get married. I know it well. When people like him
make an account on dating sites women start mourning. Fool! Both of you!
Get lost! He seems happy today. Or else he gets mad. Sir, I run a beauty parlour
over here. And we have various
sorts of massages. Get over here.
And tell him. From over there? Yes. We have various types
of massage here. Tabla massage. What about that? We do not use oil
but we use powder in this. We do not stop
till the customer is done. It carries grace and pain. Yes. Then we have
a duet massage. A duet, you say? What is it?
– We put some oil on a customer. Then we call a specialist. He then works the charm. A duet. Kappu, I must leave. I have to give special
massage to Nagarjuna. I am leaving. All right..
– Okay, bye. Hold on.. Listen, Bachcha Yadav,
your house and my parlour are close to each other.
Let’s not fight. You are my friend. Besides,
you are my favourite one. Let it go. Leave it. I love you. Sapna.. This is the first time I
haven’t enjoyed hugging a woman. But, sir, before you go,
we have a box full of jokes. Let’s hear it then.. So let me tell you a joke.
It will create a good ambience. It will be fun.
– Of course.. What kind of luck is useful
on both the ends? What is it?
– A Dholak. A Dholak.. It makes sound
on both its ends.. A Dholak..
– There’s one more.. Name the musical instrument
that abides by the law. Which one is it? Harmonium..
– A harmonium. All right, I am leaving now.
Thank you very much, sir. It was fun.
Thank you.. Mr. Khan, I have a question. During a concert..
– Yes.. They put a shawl over you..
– Yes. As a gesture of respect. Have you ever wondered that it’s
been so many shawls now and when will they give you
a bed sheet or a jacket? This was Ms. Archana’s question. She made me ask you about it.
– Yes, blame me now. Do you know, Ms. Archana,
when Mr. Khan went to England Prince Charles and Lady Diana had invited him.
– Of course. And Mr. Khan gave
a shawl to him. Isn’t that so?
– It happened in Delhi. Okay..
– When Narasimha Rao was the prime minister.
– All right. Princess Diana and
Prince Charles were there. He was the first prime minister that respected the artists..
– All right. That he seated me
next to Lady Diana. Wow! Excellent..
– And he sat far from us. Wow.
– It was a dinner in open air. And due to the inadequate
clothing with respect to the weather, she felt very cold.
– All right.. And she was looking
at people for help and I asked her,
‘What are you looking for?’ And she said that she’s
looking for a shawl. All right..
– Because the princess was feeling very cold. So.. I had a shawl
but it was in my lap. All right..
– So I was a bit hesitant to offer her the shawl. But then I saw that she
was feeling very cold. So I put a shawl around her.
– How sweet of you? Was your wife with you
during this? Yes, she was far..
– She was sitting in another place. The next day, the British
high commissioner’s wife called me.
– All right. She spoke with my wife. She said it was very kind of us to give the shawl
to the princess and that if I wanted it,
they would bring it back. I see..
– Then my wife made her decision that we are Indians and we
don’t take back what we offered. Mr. Khan, a new thing
is trending these days. – Yes. Nowadays, the boys
of the new era play beats from the mouth. It’s called beatboxing
– Beatboxing.. Many people do
other things as well. Being blunt. Yes, indeed. I think they don’t
even have the budget to buy instruments,
so they play it themselves. The audience who come here
are often talented, sir. Since Mr. Khan is here,
let’s have some fun. How many of you think that you
can play instruments from mouth? Will they do something
using the mouth? They will do
something for sure. Mic. Please try to make sounds
from the mouth only. Yes, sir. Hello, sir.
How are you? Hello, Mr. Kapil.
– Hello, sir. First of all, thank you so much.
– Thank you, sir. We all are very thankful to you for spreading happiness. Thank you, sir.
It’s because of your blessings. Thank you. Very nice.
You made me so happy. Very.. Very nice, dear. I have heard
this for the first time. I enjoyed a lot. Isn’t this good, Mr. Khan?
If you need to go to a concert then you don’t have
to worry. – Yes. Put the comb in the pocket
and go. I am ready to perform.
– I am ready. Wow!
Wonderful, Mr. Sanjay! Who else was there who wanted
to do something from the mouth? Bring your mouth..
Okay, yes. Bring the.. Yes.
What’s your name, sir? My name is Yogesh Kalia.
– ‘You are done for, Kalia.’ Yes. Where are you from?
– I am from Bareilly. From Bareilly.
– I am basically from Punjab. Okay. – Jalandhar.
– Where in Punjab? Jalandhar? Jalandhar. Okay, let’s hear something.
– I will play the ‘Been’. If the snakes come out,
just stop it. Okay. I swear
if Mr. Sehgal were here he would
have punched you. Initially, the snake
was coming inside. When it heard this, it realised
that it’s not the proper ‘Been’ so it just left.
– Just left.. Thank you so much, Mr. Kalia. Anyone else? Yes. Hi, Mr. Kapil.
– Hello, sir. How are you? Sir, I am a big fan of yours.
– Thank you so much, sir. The first guy created
the wedding environment. Yes, sir.
– He brought the procession so I am thinking
of sending off the bride. Oh!
How? Wow! You didn’t tell your name, sir.
– Sir, my name is Ravi. Ravi, where are you from?
– Sir, from Ludhiana, Punjab. Entire Punjab is here. Mr. Khan, I hope we didn’t
disturb you much by doing this. Actually, it’s our.. No.. You’re spreading happiness
among everyone. And the biggest thing
is that you are trying to understand the feelings
of everyone. Yes, Mr. Khan. – And everyone
is given a chance to speak here. Perhaps, they can’t speak
while at home. Mr. Khan, there is an artist
hidden inside everyone. Sometimes, destiny plans something else for you. Then we give the chance
to release the frustration. Mr. Khan, I heard it
from someone that your ancestors were linked to Tansen.
– Indeed. That’s true.
– Wow, that’s wonderful. – Wow! That’s great. It was
a wonderful experience for us. I thank you once again
on behalf of my entire team. You took out your
valuable time for us. Thank you.
– Thank you so much. It was so much fun.
– Well, I’m grateful to you for inviting me here
with Amaan and Ayaan. You are spreading joy
among others. All of us admire you.
– Thank you, sir. Ms. Archana, we have been
watching her smiling face for years. So, we are very happy, grateful
and honoured to be here. Now, it’s time to capture
this beautiful moment and Ms. Archana will click
a photo for us. Mr. Khan, please come.
– Come.. Wow, that’s such
a beautiful picture. Thank you.
Thank you, Ayaan. Mr. Khan, thank you so much
once again. Thank you.
– Thank you, Amaan. Thank you, Ayaan.
– Thank you.. All of you keep laughing
and keep smiling. Maintain cleanliness around
and keep watching The Kapil Sharma Show’.
Goodnight. See you.

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